Insanity
by Lady Laure
Summary: basically, a girl has been dropped on Malik and Bakura and they gotta watch her. with her comes insanity, chaos ,and something more. plz review. this is what happens when a romance writer turns comedy
1. chapter 2

Okay this is rated as it is for some yaoi, weirdness, OOC, and too much other things. Please do not flame me. This is my first attempt at writing a humor fic.  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, weirdness, OOC, and this is what happens when a romance writer tries to be a humorist. I wouldn't exactly call it weird, just plain disturbing.  
  
Disclaimer(sighs): I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, though I wish I did. Then I'd keep all the bishies to myself! (evil laugh) Yes, I'd keep Malik, Ryou, Bakura, and Yami. Hehe, but what I do own is Annie. If anyone wishes to use her, ask me first.  
  
Other: Tea does not appear in this fic. All other main characters do at small moments. It is mostly centered around Malik and Bakura. Okay, I think this is it. So, on with the fic. In this story Malik still likes girls, although Bakura can't stand them.  
  
Malik watches as Bakura dances to the music. He starts getting so turned on that he just wants to jump on Bakura and fuck him right then and there. Bakura can see the lust in his partners eyes. He smiles, no, more like smirks as he keeps doing sensual patterns with his arms and hips. Each movement changing. Malik can't take his eyes off of him. When the music stops the Egyptian is disappointed. Bakura walks over to him, all the while the girls look at him.  
  
Bakura: So, what do you say? Should we go home and screw? *He whispers into the turned on Egyptian's hair. All he hears is a slight moan * That settles it, C'mon.  
  
* Malik and Bakura's apartment *  
  
Malik and Bakura jump on each other  
  
Malik: How do you want it Bakura?  
  
Bakura: Like always. And you?  
  
Malik: Same.  
  
Bakura: Good.  
  
Malik and Bakura: *They screw all night long *  
  
#$%^*((*&^%$#%#$^$#$%#$#@%@#@#%^&^%*&^(&*()_()_((^%^&$^#$^#$^^$%&%^&*%^*%&%& %$&%^&%&^&#@%#%%$^%$^&%*((  
  
Malik and Bakura wake to the pounding of a door. They both look at each other. They get out of bed very sleepily and put a pair of boxers on. They both simultaneously walk to the door. Malik is the one to open it.  
  
Girl: My goodness! You both sleep very soundly, don't you?  
  
Bakura and Malik: *watch as the girl goes over to the TV to turn it on *  
  
Girl: Porno! *watches screen intently *  
  
Ryou: Now how are you both?  
  
Malik and Bakura: * look at each other * Shocked.  
  
Isis: I knew you would be. You see, that is Ryouji Otogi's cousin, Annie. He had to go away and couldn't take care of her so he asked Yugi, but he couldn't.  
  
Ryou: So he asked me, but I can't because I have certain matters to discuss with my boss. So he asked Isis, but she can't.  
  
Isis: So we knew you two wouldn't mind and brought her here. * looks at her watch * Oh, my! Look at the time I should go now.  
  
Ryou: Yea me too. We gotta..do stuff...  
  
Malik and Bakura: * watch as the sister and the hikari go down the hall *  
  
Malik: * closes the door *  
  
Realization dawns on them that they have to take care of a teenager with silver-gray hair for an unspecified amount of time. They both walk over to said girl.  
  
Malik: * shuts TV off *  
  
Annie: Hey! Why did you do that? It was getten' to the good part!  
  
Malik: There are three rules which you have to abide to.  
  
Annie: * stares at Malik in shock * Rules?!?  
  
Malik: Yes. Now, you have to keep your area totally spotless, you cannot take very long in the shower, * gets cut off by Bakura *  
  
Bakura: And you can't watch my porn when I am not home. And only when I say you can.  
  
Annie: You're mean!  
  
Bakura: Well, you're one messed up kid if you like gay porno.  
  
Annie: I'm not a kid! I'm 16 years old! And I like anything that has to deal with porn! * crosses arms and looks like she knows everything *  
  
Malik: * slaps his forehead *{this is gonna be some messed up day} look, Bakura why don't you get dressed? I'll go show Annie where she will sleep.  
  
Bakura: * huffs off to their room *  
  
Malik: * turns back to Annie * Come on.  
  
Annie: Fine. * still annoyed at them for shutting off the porn *(her mother and father are porn celebrities)  
  
* outside the door to their spare room *  
  
Malik: That's where you sleep.  
  
Annie: Why?  
  
Malik: 'cause that's the only other bedroom we have.  
  
Annie: Why?  
  
Malik: Hmmm, I've always wondered about that.  
  
Annie: Why?  
  
Malik: I dunno, it's just something to wonder about.  
  
Annie: Why?  
  
Malik: * annoyed * Stop it!  
  
Annie: * giggles * Why?  
  
Malik: Because I said so!  
  
Annie: Why?  
  
Malik: * very angry *(I apologize if no one thinks this is funny this is just what happens when a romance writer tries to write a comedy fic) Shut Up!  
  
Annie: * starts giggling insanely *  
  
Malik: It's not funny!  
  
Annie: Yes it is.  
  
Malik: No it is not!  
  
Annie: Yep.  
  
Malik: No!  
  
Annie: It is so!  
  
Malik: Is not!  
  
Annie: Is too!  
  
Malik: Is not!  
  
Bakura: * from their room * Will you two shut up!?!  
  
Malik and Annie: * silence *  
  
Annie: Okay Malik you win, it's not funny. * goes into spare room *  
  
Malik: * just stares at the shut door *  
  
#@%^$&*&^(^&*$&$%*^&(&*)*()(^*$$^#@$$!&*%^*%^%$*^($&#^@$^#$^$#^$%&^%$&%*%^&$ &%$&^%&%^*$#@^#$^$%&*&(*)(()*))  
  
So? How is it? Please people, review and tell me if it is funny. I will probably have one chapter a week up k? 


	2. chapter 2

I hope people liked the first chapter. Sorry if you couldn't tell where it started. The stupid document manager messed it up. Ok. Well, on with the fic.  
  
!@!@$@%#$&^$%&%%^&#%&@$&%^(&*)(*^($^*%^&$%^$@$& &*&*)*(^(%^&*#*#%^&%&(**&)&  
  
Malik: *takes out a key * *locks the door *  
  
Annie: *hears the lock click * *goes to check it out * Hey! Why'd you lock me in here? Hey! Malik! Open it up!  
  
Malik: *goes back to his and Bakura's room *  
  
Bakura: What's up?  
  
Malik: I locked her in. *sits down next to him *  
  
Bakura: Great! Now let's not feed her!  
  
Malik: *looks at Bakura with an 'are-you-fucking-crazy' look *  
  
Bakura: Alright! Sheesh, we will. *says seductively * But, you know what?  
  
Malik: What? *notices Bakura has nothing on *  
  
Bakura: You look sexy when you're mad.  
  
Malik: ......  
  
Bakura: *draws Malik into a passionate kiss * *drags him onto the bed *  
  
Malik: *moan *  
  
Annie: * comes in and sees them going at it * Why'd you lock me in?  
  
Malik and Bakura: *look up *  
  
Bakura: I thought you said that you locked her in?  
  
Malik: I did but.  
  
Annie: *cuts Malik off * But I can pick locks! *smiles *  
  
Bakura: Go away! Can't you see we're busy? *glares at her *  
  
Annie: I don't see how you can be busy, seeing as you're doing nothing.  
  
Malik: Shouldn't you be in bed?  
  
Annie: You're crazy, aren't you?  
  
Malik: No, I'm fucking my nuts! *thinks of what he said while Bakura and Annie look at him * Go to sleep!  
  
Annie: I don't have to!  
  
Bakura: Well, why the fuck not?  
  
Annie: 'Cause it's one p.m.  
  
Malik and Bakura: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? *groan *  
  
Malik: It's no use going to work now.  
  
Bakura: And I was going to be happy to go to work so I didn't have to see that thing! *points to Annie *  
  
Annie: I am not a thing!  
  
Bakura: Are too!  
  
Annie: Am not!  
  
Bakura: Are too!  
  
Annie: Am not!  
  
Bakura: Are too!  
  
Annie: Am not!  
  
Bakura: Are too!  
  
Annie: You are so childish!  
  
Bakura: Me? Me being childish! Hah! You're the one who's a child!  
  
Annie: I am not!  
  
Bakura: *gets out of bed * You are a child! You are younger than us!  
  
Annie: *doesn't listen to a word he's saying as he rants about her being a child and a fucking mortal * *keeps staring at him *  
  
!@#@$@%$@@# 5 minutes later %&$#%#^*$^^&*$^($  
  
Bakura: And that's why you're a child!  
  
Annie: *stays silent * *tries keeping a straight face *  
  
Bakura: What the hell are you looking at mortal?!?!?  
  
Annie: *snicker * You.  
  
Bakura: What the? *looks down at himself * *looks around for Malik * Where the hell'd he go? *goes puts some boxers on *  
  
Annie: *bursts out laughing *  
  
Bakura: Why the hell are you laughing woman?!?  
  
Annie: Sick thought  
  
Malik: *comes in with a bucket full of Windex and a mop *  
  
Bakura and Annie: *stare at him *  
  
Malik: Since we're going to be home today, we get to CLEAN! *hands mop to Annie * *hands Bakura the bucket * Well, get to work!  
  
Bakura: *looks at the bucket * *evil smirk * *walks up to Malik and dumps bucket over his head *  
  
Malik: Bakura you ass! I'll get you for this! *smells the Windex * Woh... *passes out *  
  
Annie: Why'd you do that?  
  
Bakura: 'Cause I hate to fucking clean. *goes out the door to the bathroom *  
  
Annie: Well, I can't just leave him here. *proceeds to clean it up *  
  
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Well? How was it? I hope you liked this one. Again, I'm sorry if it isn't funny. This is my kind of odd humor. I don't know if it's funny to anyone else. So, please review! 


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